half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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