She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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