what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
