seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
wow bdsm is so cute
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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