You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
