i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
