Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
