I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
