Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
