Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
