it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
