Dual....:-)
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Randomize
