Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
