What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
