She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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