I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
