Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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