...so i touched it.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
