there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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