I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
