Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
