You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize