I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
