Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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