your parents love me but you hate me
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
