I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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