She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
