Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
