Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
