we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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