It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
