Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
