I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
