She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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