on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We're using joints as your birthday candles
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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