You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
