Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
