how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
