This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
