the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
