You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
