Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
