just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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