its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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