Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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