So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
