I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
