I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So vagazzling was a success
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
