Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
