Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
This is the high leading the old right now
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
