And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
