____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We got so high we made milksteak
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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